


Coyote Saves the World

by DebraHicks



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-11 23:09:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DebraHicks/pseuds/DebraHicks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coyote and Martians.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coyote Saves the World

So. 

This is how it happened. 

One day Coyote was loping along in the desert looking for some cool place to take a nap. Now, cool places are not easy to find in the desert and Coyote was right on the verge of singing himself up some shade when he topped a small ridge and the strangest sight met his yellow eyes. 

Below was a wide circle of cars and trucks, all surrounded by scurrying two-legs. More surprising still was the huge silver metal upside down bowl that sat in the center of the circle atop a jutting of rock. Coyote frowned. 

"I wonder what they're doing?" 

And Coyote started down the hill because the only thing Coyote is more famous for than his luck is his curiosity. 

Well, just before he got to the first two-leg, he took a good long sniff of the wind and got his second surprise, there was a human being among the two-legs. Coyote hadn't talked to a human being in a long time. 

"It's been a long time since I've talked to a human being," Coyote said. 

Coyote trotted on over and stuck his nose where he could get a good idea about the human being. 

"Holy...!" 

The human being whirled around toward Coyote, pointing a gun at him. Coyote smiled. 

"Nice gun," he commented. 

The warrior, Coyote could tell a warrior when he saw one, stared at him. 

"It's not polite to stare," Coyote reminded him. 

"What... you're not..." 

Coyote began to think perhaps the man was a little slow, so he offered helpfully, "I'm Coyote. You are?" 

"Uh... Lindner," the man stammered. 

"That's a very good name," Coyote lied smoothly. Actually, he thought it was a very silly name, unlike Coyote which was an excellent name. 

The human being named Lindner was still staring but it would have been just as impolite to say so a second time, so Coyote just squatted down on his butt. 

"What are you doing?" 

Instead of answering, the man glanced nervously toward some of the other figures standing around the equipment, running his hand through his long black hair. After a second he started playing with his maps again. Coyote frowned. With an impatient twitch of his tail he jogged a circle around his new friend. 

"You really are rather rude," he pointed out, ignoring the above mentioned fact that to do so was also rude. "Didn't you have good upbringing?" 

Gritting his teeth so that he looked a little like Coyote, the man picked up his radio but put it back down when he couldn't think of anything to say. "I will not talk to a heat induced hallucination." 

Coyote hurumphed. "Hurumph! What you been smoking, man? You're the first human being that I've talked to in a long time; you should be proud." He added in a whimper, "It wouldn't hurt to tell me what you're doing." 

Lindner kept writing things on his map but Coyote noticed that he looked less sour. "We're going," the human being finally said, "to attack that ship. I have men who are going to sneak into that cave undernearth it..." 

"Cave?" Coyote stuck his head up. Sure enough, there was a small cave just under the big metal bowl. "Oh, now that's a fine cave. And a fine place to take a nap." 

That seemed to alarm Lindner. "I wouldn't. We're going to plant a tactical nuclear device and blow it up." 

Coyote frowned at that. "Why would you want to blow up a perfectly good cave?" 

It seemed to Coyote that Lindner had given up on trying to pretend he wasn't there, though he still didn't look at Coyote when he talked. 

"That silver thing is a spaceship and the creatures in it want to destroy every living thing on the earth," Lindner explained. 

"So," Coyote said wisely, though it really wasn't much of a wise statement. "That's not good." 

"That's why we're going to blow it up." 

"A battle!" Coyote leapt straight up into the air. "I can help!" 

"No!" Lindner snapped. 

But Coyote, being Coyote, charged straight off toward the ship. It was, after all, his future napping cave they wanted to blow up and he did have a mild interest in humans. To say nothing of all the other four-legs and no-legs. Behind him he heard his new friend yelling to his dog soldiers but Coyote just kept on running. 

He slowed down as he neared the strange bowl. On one side there was a wide ramp that led up into the ship. 

"Stupid of them to leave the door open," Coyote observed, and trotted on up into the ship. 

Inside there was a funny smell that made the hairs on Coyote's nose stand up. Coyote had smelled some very strange things but the creatures inhabiting this ship smelled really bad. 

But Coyote put his head up and trotted forward. Ahead of him three figures were standing next to a big wall covered with blinking lights. They were making a sound that hurt Coyote's ears as much as the smell of them hurt his nose. Then Coyote got a good close look at them. They had no noses, three eyes each and were covered in green scales. They were the ugliest things Coyote had ever seen. 

"Those are the ugliest things I've ever seen," Coyote said with amazement. 

Sitting down Coyote did something rare for Coyote, he thought about what to do next. 

"I really should decide what to do next," Coyote told himself. "Maybe I should go back out and talk to that human being again." 

But that would have meant admitting to not knowing everything, and Coyote would never do that. 

"No, I would never do that." 

Just then, and long before he had reached a decision, the three things turned toward a different wall, in the middle of which was a huge television. Coyote smiled. Maybe these things weren't completely bad. Coyote liked television. 

"Commander!" 

Coyote jumped a little, through he never would have admitted it. 

"No, I don't think I'd ever admit it." 

"There is a creature in here," one of the things said in a harsh, scratchy voice that was as bad as the sound they had been making earlier. 

"Where?" Coyote sprang to his feet, looking for the creature. 

There was no response to his question. The only reaction was that all three of the things were now looking at him. 

"Hi," Coyote said carefully. "What are you doing?" 

"It is one of the lower life forms," one of them said, ignoring Coyote's greeting completely. 

"It is just as disgusting as all the life on this desolate planet," the third observed. 

"Disgusting!" Coyote yelped. "I'll give you disgusting." 

And Coyote trotted over and whizzed on the television. There was a very satisfying spark and a billow of smoke. 

"That was very satisfying," Coyote remarked. 

"Stop him!" one ordered. 

The thing charged toward him and Coyote laughed. He loved playing tag. He ran around the whole group twice. For a moment he thought of biting one of them but decided against it. 

"They probably taste bad," he concluded. 

Just then Coyote got a wonderful idea. With a wide grin on his face he went hightailing it out to his new found human being. 

"I have a wonderful idea," Coyote said quickly, running a circle around Lindner. 

Lindner mumbled something, gritting his teeth. 

"You shouldn't grit your teeth like that," Coyote told him. 

Coyote was too excited to notice he was being ignored. "Lindner," he said excitedly, "would you have to blow up the cave if those smelly things came out here where you could shoot them?" 

That got Lindner's attention and for the first time he actually looked at Coyote. "What?" 

"That got your attention," Coyote laughed. 

But Lindner didn't answer his question; instead he asked, "You can bring the leaders out here?" 

Coyote didn't answer. Answering meant he would have had to think about it. Coyote decided that he had been thinking long enough. Thinking gave him a headache sometimes. 

"Watch this," Coyote boasted. "I'm gonna sing them right out of that bowl and away from my napping cave." 

"Sing?" Lindner looked skeptical. 

Coyote loped away a little, stopped, made sure his fur was on straight, put his head back and paused. Sometimes when Coyote sang everything worked just fine and sometimes it didn't. But Coyote didn't let that stop him. 

"No, I wouldn't let that stop me," Coyote observed. "Sometimes when it doesn't work it can be even more fun." 

So. Coyote started singing. And nothing happened. So, he sang some more. And nothing happened. Looking a little sheepish, which is very hard for Coyote, he glanced at Lindner. The human being was staring at him again. Coyote sang some more. This time something happened. 

The ground under Coyote's feet started shaking, then the Stoney People that covered the plain started moving around, complaining loudly about Coyote's singing. The whole valley groaned really good at being disturbed and split apart, trying to get away from Coyote's singing. Finally Coyote's napping cave opened up real wide and swallowed the big bowl in one gulp, closing over it with a sigh. 

"Well," Coyote said lowly. "That wasn't suppose to happen. But I don't think I'll tell Lindner that." 

Since this was something Coyote was not going to tell Lindner he had to sit there for a minute and think of something to tell him, which gave him a headache. Before he could come up with something, Lindner walked over to stand next to Coyote. He was wearing a surprised, slightly awed look that made Coyote laugh. 

"How... I thought..." 

"Bringing them out," Coyote lied with a smile, "would have been more trouble. They were a smelly bunch." 

"That was very impressive," Lindner told him. 

Coyote preened. "Thank you." 

"But you don't have anyplace to sleep now." 

Coyote, being Coyote decided that maybe he could gain something by playing at being noble. Shrugging into his loose fur, he said, "Well, we all have to do our part." 

There was a shrill sound from near Lindner's hip. 

"Better answer that," Coyote told him. 

Lindner picked up the black box and said, "Lindner here. Yes, Mr. President. An earthquake... I think. Yeah, the aliens are gone. Fate..." Lindner looked down at Coyote. "Or something just saved the world, sir. Yes, sir." 

The warrior clicked the radio and said, "Chavez, I want a detail at what's left of that outcropping. No, Sergeant, you're going to be digging a cave. A big one." 

"What a good idea," Coyote said happily, revising his notion that the human being hadn't been properly brought up. "You know, maybe you did have good upbringing." 

When the two-legs finished, Lindner gave Coyote one of those odd white soldier's salutes, hopped into a truck and drove off. 

Coyote gave himself a good scratching and moved into his very nice new sleeping place. The whole adventure had been a lot of fun, he decided. 

"That was a lot of fun. Maybe I'll find that human being again and see if he needs any more help saving the world." 

So. That's how Coyote saved the world. 

"That time, you mean," Coyote said just before he went to sleep.


End file.
